Needing you, is the scariest thing I’ve let myself feel

this love is the place where all my defenses, crafted to keep my safe, crumble at your feet

Love, is the enemy of my unloved soul

I reach for you in the night

My hand recoils from your sleeping body,

Unfamiliar with the warmth that met my permafrost hands

And yet, I reach back into the fire

Every night

I wrap my arms around your waist

and exhale

Full of fear and full of joy

the anomaly of needing you

is the best thing I’ve let myself feel.